As someone only in their mid-twenties, it’s incredible to look back at my younger self and see just how much I’ve changed and how much I’ve learned. If I’m being honest, I only half-heartedly listened to the older adults in my life who were trying to teach me life lessons — because what 18-year-old doesn’t feel like they’re invincible? Well, earlier in the year, older adults shared the life advice they wish they learned sooner in life, and members of the BuzzFeed Community had some words of wisdom to share as well. Naturally, I was all ears (and eyes). Here’s some of the best advice that older adults shared with younger ones:
1.
“Trust the timing of your life. Not everyone will, or should, follow the same timelines for careers, children, and marriage — and that’s fine.”
2.
“Be comfortable changing your mind. Let your opinions shift. People say we get more conservative with age, but that’s not true. I let beliefs go more easily now; I don’t blindly hang onto my opinions, no matter what others believe. No one will have beliefs that line up exactly with yours, and that’s a good thing. You can and should talk to absolutely anyone, no matter their views. Don’t be stubborn — it’s limiting. Let your thoughts evolve.”
3.
“Learn to laugh at yourself.”
4.
“Try to take good care of your teeth. And remember: People don’t cheat with what’s better, they cheat with what’s easy to get.”
5.
“Only travel to places because they interest YOU. Don’t do it for social media clout, and don’t bother going to a place just so you can say you’ve been there. Some places shouldn’t be traveled to because they’re not safe, and that’s OK! If you want to travel to the same places over and over again, that’s totally fine. If you love British history, it’s okay if you want to focus your travel time there and nowhere else.”
6.
“I’ve realized that someone saying ‘sorry’ means nothing. It’s what they do to try and make things right that counts. Words are free, but actions and real change take thought and effort.”
7.
“Don’t take your health for granted. Even if you take very good care of yourself, you never know what might happen. And even with the best of treatment, you may need help and support to manage your life. So my advice is to build a solid support system of family, friends and/or neighbors. Even if you have a minor issue going on, you’re going to need people in your life who will be there when you need them, and you should help those people when you can as well. It can be tempting for introverts especially to isolate, but don’t let yourself get into a situation where you have no one to call if you need help. It’s not good for your mental health, either.”
8.
“You can develop new habits or break bad ones at any age as long as you are willing to try and put in the effort. Age does not determine your ability to learn, and that includes learning and unlearning a habit.”
9.
“Don’t take criticism from anyone who you wouldn’t go to for advice (unless they know more than you do and you’re too much of a blockhead to recognize that you SHOULD be willing to listen to them). You don’t have to like someone — and they don’t have to be likable — for their thoughts to still be valid. Learn the difference between criticisms worth ignoring and criticisms worth considering.”
10.
“Everybody makes stupid mistakes when they are young, and while some of them are more regrettable or irreversible than others, don’t believe the bad habits of your youth make who you are. Maturity and insight are great motivators to change.”
11.
“I’m still relatively young, but one thing I cannot stress enough is to leave your hometown for a solid couple of years or so. I realize this isn’t feasible for everyone, but the point is to get out of the bubble of your upbringing and surround yourself with new environments and new people. It changed me for the better. Not all of it was pleasant, but it was incredibly crucial to my personal growth. I think it’s detrimental to society as a whole when people can’t, or won’t, get out of their bubble.”
12.
“Not everyone who ‘loves’ you actually knows how to. It’s okay to take space and set boundaries, even with those closest to you.”
13.
“People will come and go in your life, and that’s perfectly OK. Not everyone who’s currently in your life will be there for the rest of it. It’s not about how long your friendships last, it’s about what you learn from each one you have.”
14.
“Ladies — raise! Your! Standards!”
15.
“My advice would be not to care if you don’t ever get married. I was married once to a horrible man. I am now with a wonderful man to whom I may or may not get married, but solitude is so wonderful, too. I love it. Get married ONLY if you want to and can see yourself with that person forever. Otherwise, treasure your independence.”
16.
“Taking your health for granted is easy to do when you are young. The best advice I can give the younger generations (I am 69) is to do everything you reasonably can to take care of your physical and mental health. Exercise realistically — exercising as if you’re training for a marathon is basically impossible for most people to be consistent with, especially if you work full-time and have family obligations. In terms of diet, try to eat foods that make your body react well and feel good.”
17.
“You’re not supposed to do life all on your own. Asking for help not only broadens your world, but it broadens the world of your helper. It is the best skill I’ve ever learned.”
18.
“Get off or lessen your time spent on social media. Social media has become so toxic and hurtful. Remember that people are primarily going to post things that showcase themselves in their best light, and oftentimes it’s just an unrealistic version of what their life is like.”
19.
And finally: “If it won’t matter in five years, don’t spend five minutes thinking about it. Best thing I’ve ever heard.”
—pjoc
Do you have any advice or lessons you wished you’d learned way earlier in life? What are some things you wish you could tell your younger self? Let me know in the comments, or you can use this Google Form!