Look, not everyone is good at cooking. And not everyone has ~great~ taste in food. But there are some people in this world, namely boyfriends, who truly choose chaos when it comes to “cooking” and food. Here are their crimes:
1.
Like this boyfriend who needs a lesson on how to cut sandwiches because this is NOT it:
2.
This boyfriend who made cheese COCOA-ENCRUSTED shepherd’s pie for dinner:
3.
Or this boyfriend who decided it would be a brilliant idea to eat gushers with his hotdog:
4.
This boyfriend who apparently has a habit of making any food into a “sandwich,” and created this magnum opus — a “stir-fryjita”:
5.
This boyfriend who apparently does not know what macaroni OR cheese is:
6.
And this boyfriend who attempted to make carbonara, but made something that looked more like vomit:
7.
This boyfriend who made his version of “enchiladas” despite no one’s request:
8.
And this boyfriend who attempted to make chili dogs:
9.
This boyfriend who 1,000% chose chaos when he made baked beans and pickles…like, excuse me, sir?!
10.
And this boyfriend who needs to stop and think before ever making a crab meat and caviar sandwich again, and then COMPLAINING that it’s “too fishy”:
11.
This boyfriend who baked croissants for dinner (at least he tried!):
12.
This boyfriend who put expired chili (from 2016) on a toasted bagel and thought it would be cute to call it “tater gravy”:
13.
This boyfriend who allegedly made beef teriyaki:
14.
This boyfriend who was asked to make dinner by their sick girlfriend and returned with this fine selection of, well, technically sustenance:
15.
This boyfriend (whose partner wanted you to know is 45, for the record) who should probably call their dentist STAT:
16.
This boyfriend who combined ramen noodles (with the soup) with Alfredo sauce and managed to make two separately good things look awful together:
17.
This boyfriend who thought adding a bit of cracked pepper on top of his ketchup, sliced cheese, and tortilla would actually make it better (it did not):
18.
This boyfriend who managed to turn their scrambled eggs a lovely shade of green/blue:
19.
This boyfriend who made a rather memorable lunch of fish balls, macaroni, and ketchup:
20.
This boyfriend whose girlfriend discovered he likes to eat pasta with KETCHUP. Not tomato sauce and ketchup. Just ketchup:
21.
This boyfriend who made gyoza with a Cheeto “drizzle” whilst high:
22.
And this boyfriend who made whatever the heck this is while 100% sober:
23.
This boyfriend who claimed that their go-to nostalgia/lazy meal is a jalapeño tuna and Hot Cheetos sandwich with fresh dill to elevate:
24.
This boyfriend’s take on nachos which consists of microwaved chips, a slice of cheese, and salami:
25.
This boyfriend’s chaotic rendition of bangers and mash, which looks more like bangers drowning in gravy:
26.
This boyfriend who apparently doesn’t like tomato sauce on his pasta, so his solution was just to add a bit of unmelted shredded cheese:
27.
This boyfriend who made his girlfriend homemade ham and cheese sliders…and perhaps needs a lesson on proportions:
28.
This boyfriend who likes to make cabbage, frozen meatballs, and spicy corn salsa a REGULAR meal:
29.
This boyfriend who thought it best to put mayo and fried onions on a pickle:
30.
And finally, this boyfriend who thought it’d be a riot to bring home some peanuts when his girlfriend asked him to bring home some food from the bar: